Blueprint Change: Realizing that my life and career converge around relationships

An Interview with Mark Munro

The Basics

Age: 24

Location: Harlem, NY

Current occupation: 7^th grade writing teacher

Last school attended: Claremont McKenna

Biggest and/or most recent Blueprint Change*: Realizing that my life and career converge around relationships

*A decision you made or something that happened largely or completely out of your control

Past

Could you elaborate on your Blueprint Change?

When I was looking to move on after my Fulbright in Warsaw, I quickly came to the realization that I needed to find community. I knew that I wanted to be doing meaningful work and have a satisfying career, but I was no longer so headstrong in thinking that I could do that alone or that I could simply create communities from scratch, in the way that I had done during college. [After Warsaw], I moved to New York City through TFA and accepted a job at Democracy Prep Middle School teaching 7^th grade Writing. I was really excited because I knew that I had some friends in New York. I hadn’t yet realized what role relationships would play in my day-to-day life and how that would give me a greater sense of purpose in New York City.

Around early September though, I started having what I call Sunday Night Supper with my roommates – three other guys also doing TFA – and three other people from another apartment. The seven of us, and usually 4 or 6 other people, have dinner and share stories, things that we are excited about the week, and things that we are nervous about. [My relationships with these people] have really become the bedrock of my community in New York. I look forward to every Sunday evening and I don’t think I would have as much purpose in my personal life without them. And to be honest – for someone who loves to work – I really didn’t know that that would be possible. I was so used to deriving a ton of joy from achievement. I don’t think I have ever felt as grounded as I do here. I now have a really strong network of peers and people who care about me in a way that give me purpose around the clock.

That’s one strand of the community that I’ve formed here. Another strand is the relationships that I have with my roommates. I look forward to coming home every day after work because these three guys are like my brothers. I’m so lucky to have them because we’re able to find similarities and differences in the work that we’re doing through TFA. And, at the end of the day, I know that we have each other’s back. I know that this is a longer relationship than just living together for two years and doing TFA. It feels really transformative to have made these connections with people who I know won’t just be in my life for a number of years, but will be there for the long run.

Lastly, my relationships with my students and the people at my school have contributed to my drive. When I started teaching, I was really excited about the content, the data, and the experience. But, I didn’t really feel prepared for actually forming relationships or know what that means to create a community, to relate to someone, and to truly be warm. I was also used to connecting to people based on lines of similarity and this year has really pushed me to relate to people across lines of humanity. I still don’t know what it’s like to walk in the shoes of a 7^th grader in the Harlem or the Bronx, but my colleagues have given me the lens to better understand and view relationships as the most powerful thing in the work that I do.

My relationships have given me a lot of purpose, but have really complicated my Blueprint as well, because I still really love data, content, and the dorkier policy side of education. Yet, I’ve formed really close relationships with students and I don’t want to let those go. I don’t want this to just be a segment of my career. I want this to be lasting.

Is there anything you want to add about what motivated this change?

Yes, the first motivation came from a feeling of loneliness and a lack of community in Warsaw, which mostly stemmed from not speaking Polish and not doing an excellent job of creating community of my own there. And I realized upon further reflection that that was a primary focus of my next move would be to focus on developing relationships.

The second layer relates more to relationships that I’ve formed with my students, particularly with two boys, Sam and Mead. I see a great deal of myself in them. And they are incredibly bright, and they think about social justice in a way that pushes me.  Sam wears Marvel comics on his backpack as a source of pride.  He once wrote something that will stay with me: “Success is the feeling of satisfaction – the knowledge that you carry a tiny trophy with you after a long struggle.” So, the amount of persistence and grit that my kiddos have inspires me. Teaching would not be nearly the meaningful career that it is without my relationships with these kids. These sorts of relationships are what push me beyond my limits.

What was the most challenging part of this change and how did you adapt?

Trying to reconcile my love of data with relationships was difficult. I think it’s so easy for me to get bogged down in (and excited about) the minutiae. But I’ve learned that if I'm not rested, I can’t give myself – emotionally – as much as I would like to.

This is really counterintuitive to the way I worked in college. I used to approach life with the thought that with brute force intensity and 110% effort, I could achieve my goals. Teaching has really taught me that that’s not the case. I’ve been taught that I need to be savvier with my time and smarter about relationships. I’m learning to put those above everything else and then letting the cards fall into place. And I’m learning the need to sleep more and become more sustainable as a person, which for me is a lot harder than it sounds.

Present

How do you feel about your Blueprint Change now?

I feel really good about it. I think for the first time, I feel a great sense of alignment in my approach to both my personal and professional lives. That alignment isn’t perfect all the time. There are definitely moments of imbalance – I wish I was running more, I wish I had more capacity to read and write – but it’s a step in the right direction. And I recognize that as being good for my long-term well-being and happiness.

And in the realm of changes in general - what are some Blueprint Changes you are most proud of?

I am proud of the vision that I have for myself this year and what I want to achieve. I am proud that I have both quantitative and qualitative goals and will be sharing those goals with people I care about so that they can become realities. I know that those people who are closest to me are going to hold me accountable for what I want for my kids and on a personal level. It feels good to have that team behind me.

I’m also really proud of my kids’ growth based on quantitative measures. I know that it does sort of run contrary to my belief in relationships, but I think in this case, these gains really represent increased social mobility. It makes me proud to measure the hard work we've done this year and to see where my kids are headed in the future. In the spring, for example, my kids made 2.9 years of growth in improvement in language usage. I often don’t feel these sorts of improvements on a daily basis as a Writing teacher.

If you feel overwhelmed with change(s) now, how do you adapt?

Change doesn't overwhelm me, but  the pace of life does. It’s hard for me to create time to reflect on how a day fits into a week first into a month fits into a year. It’s very easy to get caught up in the grind instead of focusing on my intentions. 

Creating anchors in my schedule – Sunday Supper, for example – has helped me adapt with the fast pace of life. Also, another sort of Blueprint Change that I’m making this year is completely revamping the way I approach time management. I was great last year at creating to-do lists and creating a permanent calendar, but I was awful at cross-referencing my to-do lists with my calendar and actually finding time in the day to commit to action steps. I would also have seven running to-do lists. I’m really trying to create on paper to-do list and one digital calendar. I think that will lead to a more sustainable schedule.  I became  burnt out last year by winter, and I need to make more time for myself and find time to run and read and be a human. So that’s what I’m working on in terms of change.

Future

What sorts of Blueprint Changes would like to see happen in the future and why?

Realignment of my time management. I’m also really optimistic that I’ll be able to pick up running. I was able to do that successfully this spring. I think the other thing is creating an intentional schedule and a balance plan that both anticipates and reacts to people and communities around me. I haven’t really been in control of my schedule. This coming year, I want to really own my time and have more agency over how I spend my time.

What are you most looking forward to in the time between now and year end?

I am looking forward to thinking through what comes after my TFA commitments. I am looking forward to fall. I know that sounds goofy, but fall is magical in New York. One of my goals this year is to also read more, to devote more time to ideas in addition to people.

Could you share a piece of advice from your experiences (e.g. something that you thought about a lot during changes)?

I think my biggest piece of advice is to listen. It was hard for me to learn, as someone who has a lot of ideas and wants to contribute, but sometimes there’s so much power in listening. Particularly when you are entering new communities.

Wrapping your actions in humility can also be really powerful. You begin to assume the best in people. You begin to seek to understand rather than just have a judgment in mind before the situation unfolds. It’s important to be aware of humility even in our small actions and interactions.

Thank you so so much for taking the time to speak with me, Mark! I hope the next school year is a great one!